An Open Letter To First Year Nursing Students
Dear New Nursing Student,
I’m sorry.
I’ve been in your shoes. Excited and terrified all at the same time.
I’ll never forget my first day of nursing school. The Director of the program stood up and said:
“Look to your left, now look to your right . . . one of you won’t be here at the end of nursing school.”
Wow!
I could actually FEEL my heart sink.
My (pregnant) wife and I had just moved 1,000 miles from home for me to attend nursing school and now the self-doubt was racing around in my head.
Could I do this?
Was this a HUGE mistake?
Am I smart enough?
Maybe you’ve felt some of those feelings before . . .
Maybe you are feeling them now?
I’ve been a nurse since 2013. I’d be lying if I told you it’s been easy. I’d be lying if I told you I never doubted myself. But I’d also be lying if I told you it wasn’t worth it.
Nursing has changed my life.
Few other professions require so much. I knew nursing would be *hard*, but I had NO idea how emotionally hard it would be.
Watching patients pass. Watching family members try to cope and understand *why*.
I’ve seen the best and worst of humanity. I’ve seen life come into the world and life leave the world.
I wouldn’t trade being a nurse for anything (except my kids).
Here’s the thing . . .
You already KNOW that nursing is going to be hard.
You already KNOW that it is going to push you mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Yet despite all that . . . you CHOSE to be here. In nursing school.
Thank you!
We need more nurses.
Really . . . we need more nurses who give a damn!
I’m hoping I can share a couple of pieces of advice to help you survive the journey.
You are enough
When I walked into orientation on my first day of nursing school, I remember looking around thinking: “I’m the only lucky one here. Everyone else here is so much more prepared than me. I hope no one discoverers how dumb I am. Oh well, you’re probably going to fail out soon anyway.”
The same thing happened shortly after we hired our 10th employee at NURSING.com . . . we all stood up for a team meeting and I thought: “Are you crazy!! What are you thinking, trying to build a company to end the nursing shortage? It will never work.”
Have you ever felt these thoughts?
Full disclosure . . . I want to tell you guys about a “problem” I struggle with. I’ve always struggled with this as long as I can remember. It’s something called Impostor Syndrome . . . what’s that?
Impostor syndrome is a concept describing high-achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. . . Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. Some studies suggest that impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women. –Source
Essentially, despite achieving great things, despite praise and compliments, despite external accolades . . . . you:
- Feel like a fake
- Feel like you don’t deserve the success like you just got lucky
- Feel like everyone else around you somehow is more prepared
- Believe you aren’t intelligent
There are a few interesting elements to impostor syndrome that I think apply to nursing students and nurses:
- Exists in high-achieving individuals (ummm . . . nurses)
- More prevalent in women
- Affects as much as 70% of individuals (we all feel like the dumb/lucky one)
It’s important that you learn to not only recognize but overcome impostor syndrome when it bears its head. Doing so will allow you to:
- Recognize and enjoy your successes
- Help you reach your full potential
- Love yourself rather than loathe
Here are a few tips to help you overcome Impostor Syndrome:
- Stop comparing yourself to that person. Life is not a competition. The only person you should compare yourself to is... YOU. Are you growing? That’s all that matters. There will always be a smarter, prettier, faster, better nurse than you. Also, it’s impossible to know every variable in someone's success and accomplishments. None of us have the same starting line nor the same goals . . . therefore, we aren’t even in the same race as anyone else. Better stated . . . it’s not a race!
- Keep a file of people saying nice things about you. One of the first things I started doing when we started NURSING.com was to keep a file of compliments. Every time we get a nice email or review . . . it goes in the folder. I often refer to this folder. Whenever the nasty thought “why should anyone care what YOU have to say” creeps in, I go back to this folder. It reminds me of the nursing students all over the world who have found success thanks to NURSING.com. You should do the same.
- Accept that you have had some role in your successes. It’s crazy to think that you got into nursing school on pure luck, or that you got the job because your resume slipped through the cracks. What I often tell newbies is . . . it’s the admissions committee or the manager's job to determine if you should have the job/get into school, once that decision has been made you don’t need to worry about it. You are where you are due to your hard work and effort.
- Be honest. Realize that nobody knows what they’re doing. Most startups fail, great nurses fail the NCLEX, I have terrible grammar skills, you will make a medication error as a nurse, the greatest of the greats fail too. Failing doesn’t mean you’re a fake. It means you are human. Be honest about what you do know and be honest about what you do know.
Life is a journey
The only other advice I really want to share with you is to remember that life is a journey.
You will not be a perfect nurse today, tomorrow . . . or ever.
That’s okay!
Your goal should be to continually improve and do YOUR best.
If you fail an exam, miss an IV, get a question wrong. It’s okay.
The author Carol Dweck, in her book Mindset, explains the concept of the “growth mindset”.
“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work — brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.”
Realizing that you are a work in progress, that life is long, and that you are not a measure of your successes and honors allows you to enjoy the journey and not focus so much on the grade.
Conclusion
You can do this!
Nursing is a tough career . . . but it is so worth it. We need nurses who grasp the importance of the journey.
I want you to succeed, please know that you can!
If you need any help with nursing school, please visit us at NURSING.com, where we are building a better way to learn nursing.
Happy Nursing!
-Jon Haws, RN (founder of NURSING.com)
